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British |
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The English Language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble
with the English Language?
Let's face it. English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger.
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England.
French fries were not invented in France. |
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We sometimes take English for granted but if we examine
its paradoxes we find that quicksand takes you down slowly,
boxing rings are square. And a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig. |
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone
booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the does a
humanitarian eat?
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Why do people recite at a play, yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways.
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
where a house can burn up as it burns down. And in which
you fill in a form by filling it out. And a bell is only heard
once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers, and it
reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course
isn't a race at all).
That is why when the stars are out they are visible, but
when the lights are out they are invisible, and why it is that
when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this
observation, it ends.
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